It rained again.
Again, it is always the rain that would put me into deep thoughts.
It feels like the rain might have some super power over me I don’t know.
I was having a conversation with David, when he told me that he already got a boy friend now. I should have thought better.
Reading Apollo David’s [post on being kind](http://apolloandhermes.blogspot.com/2009/05/dont-be-so-kind.html), I felt the same situation is bestow upon me.
I am here now, lying down on the firm and comfortable hotel bed, exhausted and yet ‘enjoyful’ typing this entry of the blog post.
I have been out of the country for a very long time, that I have lost count already. My passport has been abused and harassed numerous times, that I think that abuse might turn into an enjoyment. One do wonder, do the custom’s officers enjoyed spanking the on the visitor’s passports when they embark into the country.
Here I am, in Wellington, New Zealand. I must say, I have met a lot of people from all over the world, From Argentina, to Brazil right up to New Zealand.
I could say that I can’t wait to get back to Malaysia, back to my not so closet self, back to all the hypocritical people, back to all that political bullshits. Yes, I have been following the Perak by-elections, and I can tell you, I think these idiots should just do the world a favor, and bury themselves.
Sleeplessness, that is what I can use to describe myself.
I would want to blame it on the different time zones, they call it jet lagged. Yes, I have been living on a jet setter’s lifestyle since late November. It was fun, to be able to travel all around, meeting different people before I start myself in Uni in May.
But that is not the point, the point is, I wanted to stay away from my home in Kuala Lumpur. I had wanted to do this for a very long time, trying to see if I could forget the boy. The truth is, I can’t. On the boy’s birthday last year, while I was in Brazil, I gave the boy a call to wish him a happy birthday. I mean, it would only be appropriate if I do that, at least, I thought it that way.
Not only was I wrong about the whole thing, I still ended up crying at night, hugging a pillow, that I was well aware that it would not hug me back.
The doctor had asked me to stay away from caffeine. It was one of the main reasons why I was always anxious about things that are happening around me. I stopped taking coffee as my daily routine, and it helped tremendously.
Aside from that, I am also on a couple of drugs that the doctor had prescribed me, it really help a lot in terms of both talking with L, and my office colleagues. Not only did it kept me calm down most of the time, it also helped me to think about things rationally, and execute my plans well.