Happy Birthday, 2012

On the 21st of Decem­ber, last year I told myself, that I would want to write some­thing here, that oblig­a­tory post that I post  every year.

To be fair, I did try to pen some­thing, although I would not say pen because that ‘pen some­thing’ was actu­al­ly a form of vir­tu­al entry that I have in my brain, that sor­ta thing.

The one sided mes­sage even­tu­al­ly end­ed. The num­ber I think have switched hands a cou­ple of times, as I have seen dif­fer­ent pro­file pic­tures on What­sapp for that num­ber. I did­n’t try to mes­sage, but per­haps I want to keep it, for old time’s sake.

Should I be still writ­ing about him? Should I be still think­ing about him? Should I be still won­der­ing how is he and what is he doing?

I have nev­er been into a rela­tion­ship so real, or so fake before. Real because it is tak­ing me for­ev­er to for­get about the boy; lets be real, how can one for­get some­thing so eas­i­ly, unless we have some­thing that bonk onto our head. How can it be fake, then? I remem­ber a whole lot of time spend­ing togeth­er, but I don’t remem­ber much about doing things togeth­er. Sex, out for drink, and that’s about it.

I still fail to locate his Face­book. He’s the kin­da per­son that would do any­thing to pro­tect his pri­va­cy, but I don’t think he blocked me or any­thing. I just can’t do a ‘search’ on him. I can’t stalk his friends because he had kept two dif­fer­ent sets of friends; the gay ones, and the hypocrites.

He did appeared on LinkedIn, where some­how we are well some­how con­nect­ed. From the looks of it, he did­n’t man­age to fin­ish what I start­ed for him, and is now work­ing in the cos­met­ic line, which is some­thing I would imag­ine him doing,

I always asked myself, was he worth the time that I keep on remind­ing myself of what we nev­er had? Is it cheat­ing that I some­times think about him? We are human being, after all. Right?

Hap­py birth­day 22nd, L.

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2 Responses to Happy Birthday, 2012

  1. WP January 31, 2013 at 3:26 am #

    Stum­bled onto yr blog. Read some of yr old­er posts. Think I can relate to yr melan­choly state of mind (I pre­sume you have not got­ten over that rela­tion­ship). It’s been 2 years + since I last broke up with my ex. I still do think of him now & then. But I know that with time, that feel­ing will pass. Take care & please con­tin­ue to write.

    • Cedric Ang February 10, 2013 at 8:22 pm #

      @WP, as much as I do, but I guess it’s best to keep it away from my boy friend.

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