Love phobia

Once bit­ten, you take make your steps pre­cau­tious­ly. Some­times, there are things that can­not be prevented.

It was quite a scary thought, the thought of see­ing the boy in La Queen.

The sto­ry goes like this.

For the past week, I had not had much suc­cess with talk­ing to the boy. On that Sat­ur­day, after our out­ing and shop­ping spree, we went to a fast food restau­rant for sup­per. The boy need­ed to use the gents, and there he went.

I wait­ed for a while, and he still had not appear, so I went and look for a seat, and then I took out my cam­era, and review the pic­tures that we took that day. It was a very hap­py day for both of us, at least I think it is. We had a great time with each oth­er’s company.

I saw the boy leav­ing the gents, I thought of keep­ing qui­et, and see what were his reactions.

The boy was wan­der­ing all around the place, but he had failed to look inside near the gents where there are some tables there. From the glass mir­ror, I can see his wor­ried face, I want­ed to just cut the game, and go to him, but in the mean time, I want­ed to see what were his reactions.

A cou­ple of min­utes lat­er, the boy final­ly spot­ted me. He looked wor­ried sick, and at that moment, look­ing at him, my heart sank.

We queue up to get our sup­per, the boy did not talk for the whole peri­od of time. He was angry at me.

Our sup­per had to cut short when the boy com­plained about a bad tum­my ache. Per­haps it was because of the lack of food.

I sent him home after that, I told him to try to sleep. It feels better.

Sigh ..

A few days passed, and the boy had not reply to my mes­sages. He was real­ly upset about what I did.

When he final­ly replied, he told me that he some­times curled up on the bed in tears because I have hurt him so much. He said that what I did on Sat­ur­day make him feel real­ly insecure.

I agree.

When the boy don’t talk to me, I felt inse­cure as well.

I was afraid, I was afraid that some­thing like the last time might hap­pen again. No calls, no mes­sages, and the next thing you know, he is see­ing some­one else.

That is why I was so afraid to go to La Queen, I do not want to bump into him …

Am I over thinking ?

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4 Responses to Love phobia

  1. Alan August 12, 2008 at 6:14 pm #

    Hi, I just came over your blog and after I read it, what came to my mind is if you want to fell bet­ter, don’t think any­more or should I say next time when you face the same sit­u­a­tion, don’t think too much. It’s nor­mal to think like that. Even I some­times got myself think­ing why has­n’t he reply me. I see no mes­sages, no replies, noth­ing from him. So I came to real­ize, you just don’t have to think too much and just let it be. It might turn out bet­ter. We nev­er know. Btw, what did you actu­al­ly did in the gents? Just curious~

  2. Cedric Ang August 13, 2008 at 10:55 am #

    Alan: I can’t help but think of it, I am sure my boy does the same too.

    I was­n’t in the gents, the boy is. I was waiting.

  3. clement August 14, 2008 at 11:16 am #

    hi ced,

    what alan said was right. just dont think so much. Why think so much? Think anoth­er way… if you keep think­ing and the oth­er half is enjoy­ing him­self? not worth right.… Be sim­ple… some­times cer­tain peo­ple does­nt real­ly need us to be ultra sen­si­tive and care about them. if we are too obssessed and care them so much, they will be very proud and ego. Let it be.… okie! nice day ahead!

  4. Cedric Ang August 14, 2008 at 8:46 pm #

    clemet: Yes, i agree. Well I am try­ing not to think too much, but we cer­tain­ly need to see how.

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