Fuel price and me

Have you been effect­ed by the sud­den fuel price surge? Were you caught in that hav­oc and mas­sive traf­fic jam at least 1 KM vicin­i­ty of a petrol kiosk? Did it took you more than dou­ble your trav­el­ing time to get back to your home after work that faith­ful evening? Did you queue up to get the last drop of fuel at the price of RM 1.92 ? Have you been liv­ing in your own world dream­ing your own dreams?

Could these all be just a dream? To my dis­may it was­n’t. Ever since the fuel hike and the hav­oc that the old man had caused the coun­try, I have been almost liv­ing in denial; that the fuel price will come down again, and the old man’s ass would be on fire. I was disappointed.

Fuel Price

Dis­ap­point­ment has got to come to an end some­times; the time when the jalopy need­ed its fuel. Dri­ving up to the near­by Shell sta­tion was­n’t that much of a daunt­ing task, lift­ing the noz­zles that deliv­ers the red col­ored V‑Power fuel that cost RM3.15 a liter is.

It was my first time fuel­ing up after the price hike, I was watch­ing the RM gauge slow­ly climb­ing in rela­tion to the liter gauge. A lit­tle tad faster than last time, it felt.

The noz­zle flipped, it stopped at around 40 liters, fill­ing the jalopy with 40 liters worth of fuel. Slow­ly adding in anoth­er liter of fuel to fill up the jalopy to the brim is like stab­bing your heart with a blunt knife. It hurts to watch the Ring­git gauge raise up way too quickly.

Des­per­ate needs calls for some des­per­ate mea­sures. I have come out with a cou­ple of ways to reduce the effect of the fuel price increase.

First thing first, inter-state trav­el­ing has got to stop. Until I fig­ure out a cheap­er way to trav­el with­out involv­ing this much of fuel, trav­el­ing across states are strict­ly banned. Any sex­u­al encoun­ters or fuck bud­dies must be with­in the vicin­i­ty of Kuala Lumpur. Petal­ing Jaya and the rest do not qual­i­fy and would deemed fuel wastage.

Even if you can find a fuck bud­dy or some­one that you can express your inti­ma­cy, fur­ther counter mea­sures needs to be in place to ensure fur­ther slash in the fuel hike effects. Con­doms, those must not be in place. Dai­ly, thou­sands of fucks are going on, if half of these fucks involves con­doms, that would trans­late to a lot of rub­ber. These del­i­cate cock sleeves needs to be man­u­fac­tured and not just pour­ing latex on a cock to mold; man­u­fac­tur­ing latex is a very del­i­cate process, and it needs to be ISO com­pli­ant. Being that, it needs fuel, and lot­sa them. Cut­ting the use of con­doms would fur­ther cut­ting down the use of fuel, which trans­late to pro­long fos­sil fuel deple­tions. Durex can con­tin­ue with their range of lubri­cants, these are good prod­ucts by itself to start with.

See­ing that con­doms are out of place, I would forsee HIV and STDs spread like wild fires. It is good, a good way of ‘remov­ing’ the ass­holes and dick­heads from the face of the earth. In return, we get more space to breath, high­er qual­i­ty guys, and more things to eat. World pop­u­la­tion would drop and what remains are the peo­ple who don’t fuck around. It will come to a time where HIV and STDs no longer exist, and every­one can hap­pi­ly fuck each oth­er with­out a bar­ri­er. Orgasm would fall from the sky, and every­one lives a hap­py life.

Vase­line is a good lubri­cant. See­ing that one do not use con­doms any­more, pen­e­tra­tion can now be smeared with Vase­line. Pen­e­tra­tion with Vase­line of course is far more bet­ter than Durex; you do not need to re-lubri­cate because it would hard­ly dry up no mat­ter how long you tend to take your part­ner for that ride to heaven.

Of course, the fuel price surge has got its bad side. Bad being that since there is close to non inter-state trav­el­ing, you would be fuck­ing the same group of peo­ple over and over again depend­ing on how active your sex life is. Me for one, a fuck a day is almost the aver­age, but there are the time where a few fuck a day is the norm. “Change your lifestyle,” urged the des­per­ate ministers.

Every sin­gle time there is a price hike, they nev­er fail to tell you these three things. One, our fuel prices are the low­est amongst the region, to make you feel good about being in Malaysia, you enjoy the low­est pay in your respect­ed indus­try in the region. Sec­ond­ly, they will tell you how much the gov­ern­ment has sub­si­dized for the fuel that you pump into your jalop­ies, telling you fools that you are already pay­ing for the so called sub­si­dies, why fuck­ing both­er if they remove it. Third and last­ly, they will tell you that you should change your lifestyle. Sim­ple actu­al­ly, I see the min­is­ters doing it all the time. Ever won­der if the old man do some shop­ping in Scot­t­land or some­thing after the recent fuel price hike? I’m sure some­one will bump into him, we will just read the papers.

Fuel prices, who are you fuck­ing today?

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6 Responses to Fuel price and me

  1. Razlan June 9, 2008 at 2:41 pm #

    HAHAHAHAHA. This real­ly crack­ing me up! Can I pro­mote this to my friends?

    (Babe, bet­ter acti­vate the options for oth­ers to receive noti­fi­ca­tions on new com­ments on your blog post)

  2. Razlan June 10, 2008 at 9:41 am #

    Okay, let’s try this auto-noti­fi­ca­tion thing.

  3. Cedric Ang June 9, 2008 at 8:53 pm #

    Razlan: Yes sure, go ahead.

    I’ve installed the plug-in for the noti­fi­ca­tion. Lets see if it works.

  4. Razlan June 10, 2008 at 12:52 pm #

    Yup it did 🙂

  5. Cedric Ang June 10, 2008 at 12:51 pm #

    Okay, did it work?

  6. Cedric Ang June 10, 2008 at 1:58 pm #


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