Defeating the negative devils

Things did not went as I would have want­ed it to be. Almost imme­di­ate­ly after I post­ed the entry, L mes­saged in my MSN urg­ing me to go for the test. It was left as an offline mes­sage because I was­n’t online at that moment.

He came online that day. I was online the same time as he was. I was still con­tem­plat­ing if I should tell him or not. I choose to let him know, at least I would want to be respon­si­ble for that action. The act that I should have been for a test­ing before engag­ing in a rela­tion­ship with some­one as young and adorable and LOVING as my boy friend.

I told him, he said he knew what was it about. I had no idea about the offline mes­sage that he had sent me because my MSN was not capa­ble of receiv­ing such. L was being very very sup­port­ive. From his words, he seems to be calm, which is a good thing. I guess the biggest obsta­cle to face now is me, and only myself.


That was easy, I thought.

Per­haps my great­est fear was myself. I could not bear with the results; I do not wish to attend any coun­sel­ing ses­sions either. It’s all the same thing, they are just a bunch of audio record­ings that tells you not to wor­ry, the future is still bright, the under­stand how we feel and etc. All these bull­shit, I have heard them all.

I keep on telling myself to calm down. Sleep­less­ness is not going to help with the situation.

I am going to make any appoint­ment with Pink Tri­an­gle, then we will see what is next. Wish me luck, I need lots of them. Oh, thank you guys again for the encour­ag­ing emails and com­ments. I real­ly appre­ci­ate it a lot.

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2 Responses to Defeating the negative devils

  1. hcfoo February 29, 2008 at 12:45 pm #

    Hope you’ll be okay, man.

  2. Hoknotyalc March 22, 2008 at 1:22 am #

    Hope all is well. Hugs

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