Archive | Relationships

15 things I can’t forget about him

Since I keep on think­ing just about L, I thought per­haps I can make a list of the things that I can­not for­get about him. Things that I remem­ber so fond­ly about him.

You see, in this short 5 months rela­tion­ship, we have been togeth­er like well, too much. I won’t say its a good thing because the more we see each oth­er, the more dis­agree­ment we have. Then again, I won’t say it’s a bad thing, because the peri­od of time that we see each oth­er, actu­al­ly bonds us togeth­er even stronger.

Well, unfor­tu­nate­ly I raised my voice and cursed at him for no obvi­ous rea­sons. The only thing that I can do now is to regret my actions, and try to get him back again.

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A loose end

The gloomy weath­er is mak­ing me feel­ing depressed. Sud­den­ly, it felt as if I am lost, in a wide open space. Every­thing just speeds on so fast, things beside us changed too rapid­ly that we can’t cope with the speed.

So many things needs to be answered. Uncer­tain­ties, con­fu­sion and what not.

When you are so used to hav­ing some­one by your side and you become com­fort­able, out of the sud­den you let down your deter­rent but when you begin to believe in the most amaz­ing things that could hap­pen to you. It sim­ply wears off when you real­ized you have just been ide­al­is­tic and unre­al­is­tic.

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Overcoming a non successful relationship

In life, there are just so many if’s and we just can’t answer to all of them.

As much as I do not under­stand how did L got togeth­er with the oth­er guy, I could not under­stand it when the first time I met with L either. It was too ran­dom, too fast and too quick.

There are cer­tain lit­tle things that one must be able to see, the small lit­tle things.

If I had only left the iPod with L, if I had only give him more atten­tion instead of ask­ing him ques­tions and ques­tions, if I had only con­trol my tem­per, if I had only send him gen­tle words instead of harsh words when he’s hurt, if I had only …

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Overcoming depression

I had a long chat on MSN with a close friend, and I think I know what the prob­lems is.

You see, after that whole episods of me puk­ing my guts out in my own room, I think I am suf­fer­ing from depres­sion and needs med­ical help. I mean, this is not nor­mal, being sui­ci­dal is not nor­mal. Besides hav­ing to clean my room full of puke, and blood, I guess I am okay.

Some­one says that I sound very pos­ses­sive. I was­n’t real­ly. I was try­ing to pro­tect L, I tried too hard. I was wor­ried.

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When you think you don’t care

When I receive words from L that he will be out with a friend to a pub for an inter­view, I was wor­ried.

After I have start­ed the courtship with L, I have giv­en him my spare phone num­ber which is also my sup­pli­men­ta­ry line num­ber because it would be more log­ic to call or text me using that num­ber. Although that L promised me he would pay his end of the line, I would not care.

When he break the news that he was with a friend in a pub, it got me wor­ried, and only to get worst when I still had not hear from him way until clos­ing time of any pub is allowed to open.

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