Archive | Relationships

Well Played

So yes­ter­day Matt mes­saged me for din­ner, and I did not saw his mes­sage on time, and only replied to him 2 hours lat­er.

He was­n’t hap­py of course, and in the spruce of the moment, I let it out at him. “How many times have we made love? You can­not even reply to me when I say ‘I love you’, so I would imag­ine when we last made love”.

The fact is, it has been quite a while since we last had sex. Usu­al­ly when we were togeth­er, he would sleep only in his under­wear. Now, he sleeps ful­ly clothed.

It was after a few times of fore­play only nights before Matt allowed me to fuck him. He still refuse to suck me, but I guess I have to live with it.

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<–more–!> I found Hushky on Grindr. One of the rare finds, I sup­posed.

Both of us met. Fucked, and I real­ly liked the way he sucked.

“Hey, haven heard much from you. How have you been?”, I said.

“Very good.”

“We need to meet up again, been a while since I breed your ass.” Hushkey men­tioned that he loved the feel­ing of being breed by me.

“Lets meet up this com­ing New Year. I come pick you up on the eve, and we can fuck whole night.” I said.

Hushky want­ed to use ice. He asked if I knew what pop­per was, and he want­ed to have that when I fuck him. He was delight­ed when I told him I knew what it was, and that I have bought a few bot­tles.

Unable to source for a reli­able source for the ice, we went to weed instead. I like the feel­ing of spac­ing out and get­ting a blowjob. The feel­ing is akin of tak­ing ket­a­mine, but less stronger, and does­n’t hit you the same. I gen­er­al­ly pre­fer hav­ing mar­i­jua­na, as it is eas­i­er to access com­pared to the oth­er stuffs. Ice itself, does­n’t give me the kin­da high that my oth­er coun­ter­part pre­fer that. I don’t feel any­thing spe­cial or high. The only effect is I can’t seem to make myself shoot my load.

Its the eve of New Year. Hushky ass was all sore from the nights before. All the fuck­ing and breed­ing, I some­times did not even ejac­u­late because the ses­sion was so long; I kin­da got tired and bored. He gave my dick a good suck, lick­ing it occa­tion­al­ly, prepar­ing it to enter to his now well used hole.

I smear on lib­er­al amounts of KY to his but­t­hole, hop­ing the next ses­sion would be anoth­er great one.

Don’t get me wrong. I love fuck­ing. I lit­er­al­ly don’t care who I fucked. Smelly ones, cute ones, dirty ones. I think I have most­ly met all of them. As much as they are not visu­al­ly appeal­ing to me, my dick does­n’t know that. Like they say, hide the face, fire the base. Right?

It is the first time I delet­ed my ex’s con­tact. It is the first time that I felt like I need­ed to burn that bridge with Matt. Few weeks back, I unfol­lowed him, unfriend­ed him, unsaved his con­tacts, etc. Few weeks back, I refuse to mes­sage him and then it give way. I mes­saged him some­how.

I don’t know what I want. On one end, I liked to have him around, to chat or what­ev­er, on the oth­er hand, I hate it when he asks me to pay for some­thing, or telling me that this is nice and all. He does­n’t does it often, but every­time when he does, I felt extreme­ly dis­gust­ed.

It has been far too many times he want­ed one of my watch. I guess, if it was Ash­ton, I would have giv­en it to him. Why can’t I do the same with Matt? What dif­fer­ence does that make, why treat­ing Ash­ton does­n’t felt the same as how I treat Matt?

Is it because the lack of sex?

I can­not explain how is it with Hushky. I don’t want to treat him like my boyfriend, but at the same time, I cooked break­fast for him wait­ing for him to get up from bed.

On one end, I want­ed to have din­ner at some real­ly expen­sive place, and the per­son that I want­ed to bring, was Matt.

I am con­fused. Oh, and Hap­py New Year.