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Coming Out

Love, Simon

For a long time, I was killing myself to hide that fact. I had all these rea­sons, it was unfair that only gay peo­ple had to come out, I was sick of change, but the truth is, I was just scared.

First, I thought it was just a gay thing but then I realised that no mat­ter what, announc­ing who you are to the world is pret­ty ter­ri­fy­ing cause what if the world does­n’t like you. So, I did what­ev­er I could to keep my secret.

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Now & Then

Talk about time pass­ing by.

The last time I actu­al­ly write about some­thing was back in 2014.

The oth­er day, when Ash­ton decid­ed not to talk to me yet again. I thought I should write something.

Yeah, I some­what got togeth­er with Ash­ton. After Ash­ton sent me his last mes­sage two weeks ago, I tried to recall how did we get togeth­er. I remem­bered I was dat­ing L, then some­one in between, then Nel­son, then had that fling with Milo, then Julian then Ash­ton. I was search­ing fran­ti­cal­ly for pic­tures dur­ing that peri­od of time, in 2008 and sub­se­quent­ly in 2013 to find any pic­to­r­i­al proofs of my boys.

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That Lasting Relationship

How many of us actu­al­ly wish to have a long last­ing relationship?

From that time when I met Nel­son to the time when Milo final­ly came to my life, it has been a roller coast­er ride. Then came Ash­ton and then Julian. All with­in that short 6 months period.

Am I a play boy as some would label me? Or am I just search­ing fran­ti­cal­ly for that some­one to love?

When I was with Nel­son, it became so unsta­ble that we find faults with each oth­er. When Nel­son got sick, he blamed me.

It was then I met with Ash­ton, a boy that I have met a cou­ple of years back.

It was­n’t a rela­tion­ship back then, but we both agree to try it out, for old times sake.

It did­n’t work, only last­ed for a few months and we decid­ed to just be friends.

Then I met Julian, whom I have been hav­ing on and off con­ver­sa­tion since a year ago. He met into some finan­cial issue and I am not will­ing to help because of the past expe­ri­ence that I had. He ignores me very fre­quent­ly and it seems he is only using me for his own benefits.

What should I do now?

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Malaysian Election Brings Out The Racism Ghosts In Us

I board­ed the plane head­ed back to Malaysia, for the first time in my life, I am exer­cis­ing my rights, and my duty to my country.

Fun­ny is that I am required to pay thou­sands of ring­git of tax­es, and yet I have to reg­is­ter myself to vote in my coun­try, but that’s anoth­er story.

I live in an area where the com­mu­ni­ty bare­ly know each oth­er. Per­haps the sit­u­a­tion got worst when the res­i­dence here are most­ly work­ing adults rent­ing on sin­gle rooms. How­ev­er, I do know my neigh­bors in my small gat­ed community.

Still wear­ing traces of alco­hol from last night’s par­ty, I head­ed to the polling sta­tion that I was sup­posed to be. Dad was sup­posed to give me a lift but I decid­ed to head on out myself first; he was hav­ing his morn­ing tea with his friends at a near­by cof­fee shop.

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