Cedric Ang

Sleeplessness, that is what I can use to describe myself.

I would want to blame it on the different time zones, they call it jet lagged. Yes, I have been living on a jet setter’s lifestyle since late November. It was fun, to be able to travel all around, meeting different people before I start myself in Uni in May.

But that is not the point, the point is, I wanted to stay away from my home in Kuala Lumpur. I had wanted to do this for a very long time, trying to see if I could forget the boy. The truth is, I can’t. On the boy’s birthday last year, while I was in Brazil, I gave the boy a call to wish him a happy birthday. I mean, it would only be appropriate if I do that, at least, I thought it that way.

Not only was I wrong about the whole thing, I still ended up crying at night, hugging a pillow, that I was well aware that it would not hug me back.

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Every once a while, people tend to do things out of the ordinary. Trying to push their own limits that they have set to themself, to get out from their comfort zone.

I had wanted to leave that comfort zone for a very long time, but I had not dare to do that because I wasn’t sure how things would be, and how well can I handle them.

As much as I would like to talk about L in the blog, and as much as I do not want to because it is a public domain, I cant. Mainly because L is involved in many events in my life.

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Even thought we are seeing each other now, it seems like the situation has not improve at all. I don’t know how should I put it, but I am trying to do everything that I possibly can to get back L’s trust, and the relationship. I guess this is my ‘last card’ before I really give up and move on. 4 years is quite a bit of wait, especially for a person that is impatient like me.

Lester has been struggling with his studies. He had not been having good sleep since then. I had told him that I would not mind getting him to Singapore to further his studies, and in the mean time, I can too start a new life there. It works both ways, depending on if we wanted it to work or not.

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As much as I would like things to work out together between us, things are just not the way that we always want them to be.

I am worried that things might not work out between us, not the relationship part, but rather the whole ‘staying in Singapore’ part. Perhaps in L’s mind, I am making this decision because I wanted to be with him. Well, partially because I really wanted to be with him. Another part of me just wanted to leave Malaysia for good, or the longest possible time, if possible.

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Christmas is near, everyone is busy.

I am down at Singapore now enjoying my Christmas. I can only get to a computer once a while, forgive me okay?

On the other hand, I manage to take a lot of picture of cute guys in Singapore. Sex has been great too! Tell you later.

I kinda like this Part 1 and Part 2 thing. It kinda makes the blog interesting like a TV series where at the end of the show you get a “To be Continued” thinggy.

Back to the subject, and to recap what happen.

Yesterday, I saw a stream of visitors coming in from this source. It was pointing to my post, Spit or Swallow and shortly after that, he removed his email on the site, his Multiply link and his post.

Well, Of course I have the tendacy to save up everything interesting that I see on the net, just in case people remove them, like this case for example.

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I have put up a little ‘disclaimer’ kind of thing on top of every page that I have on this blog.

The reason I did that is because some lost soul cry foul over some of the pictures that they see, even though the first paragraphs of cum and licks already suggested what is in place.

Thanks to KhengWei that highlighted the site for me, but I must say that you are pretty much a hypocrite yourself, don’t you think?

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