It was the memories; memories of you in my heart for that short period of time that we were together.

Remember the time when I went over to your place, and then we started sending text messages to each other expressing our interest? Remember the time when you sneak out from school to come see me because you said you miss seeing me?

It was never easy letting you go; I have learn that sometimes it is always best to let things go in order for us to continue moving forward.

Looking back at the things that was in the store made me thinking. What was it that made us together despite our differences.

I can’t find a reason.

It’s time now, to let it all go.

Maybe you still have a small spot in my heart, but for now, I think I still have space to store things up under my bed.

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“Dear, I just reached Subang Jaya station. You can come pick me up now.”

It was a call from Jack, a boy that I had met on the Internet a few days ago. Jack is a sweet looking boy, staying not too far away from me and we both liked each other. The way he talk, the way he looked like and the way he dressed up. The call had woke me up from my sleep; I quickly dressed up, and head over to the station.

It was almost raining when I was out from the house on the way to pick Jack up. I was worried that I might not like Jack because pictures can tell lies, sometimes. I reached the station and I could not find him, he was at the inside of the station. I saw him walking towards me after I make a call to him and found him. He looked different from the picture that I saw, like I said, picture tell lies sometimes.

We went straight back home. I stripped him off his cloths, and he lied down on the bed.

I rubbed myself with a layer of lubricant, and entered him. It was easy, it was smooth. He gave a slight moan.

It wasn’t right. The feeling of penetrating Jack feels exactly like how it felt when I make love with The Boy. How could it be? It has been such a long time, I could have just forgotten how it feels like already. How long had we not had anything? Two years perhaps?

I was already exhausted, and it gotten more when we finish our first session. Jack lie on my chest, and both of us fell asleep.

I felt something on my nose. It was Jack playing with my nose, and it woke me up. Both of us were stalk naked as how we were first born. He put his head on my chest, with his tongue sticking out licking my nipple. I stroked his hair in approval. He went down south, licking my cock head slowly, and then the whole shaft. He then changed position, lifting my legs up for better access to my testicles, and my love tunnel.

It was early in the morning and I got really horny. I met this guy online who was coming down to KL from Genting. He was on his way to Uniten, but would not mind stopping by my house.

I directed him to my house.

I did not like him the moment I started to talk with him. He is asking too many questions.

I lie down on the bed waiting to be sucked and penetrated. Yes, I was horny, but I wasn’t up for fucking someone, I wanted to be fucked. He first started by working on my nipples, it excites me every time. He work himself to my cock, and then I got him a condom. He got a small cock, but just right perhaps for the amount of time that my love tunnel spent unexplored.

It was painful, not because of the sheer size, but rather the friction from the latex. I pulled his cock out wanting to pull off the condom. He complained that he have not cum yet. I was a little annoyed, and I kept quiet. I smeared a little more lubricant and pulled him closer to me, it was heavenly and he let out a really loud moan, and comment.

He was bad in bed, really bad. I changed position, and told him that I want to fuck him instead. I gloved up myself and penetrated him ignoring his complaints. When I was gloving up myself, he asked me to use back the condom that I threw on the floor. I guess his misinformed brains did not register when they teach them condoms are single use only.

I lube him up again after I gloved him. He penetrated me easier this time. Rocking back and forth, he came; in five minutes.

Before he left, he asked me to call him whenever I need a fuck. I guess this would be the first and the last time I will see him. My ass is still sore though.

Licking my sore ass from the morning encounter, it was rather soothing. Then I remembered I had not clean up after the morning encounter, I quickly pulled Jack up kissing him on his lips.

We fucked again, and then cleaned up ourself and head out meeting my friends for dinner.

Thomas called me up for a drink. I went over to where he was after I picked up another friend. I needed to talk to Thomas to update our little business adventure that we had.

“This is Jack, my boy friend.”

My friends were surprised. To most of them, me and Thomas having this thing together. Thomas is straight, and will be straight; but things happens sometimes, and we are sort of officially seeing each other.

We went drinking, dinner and walking around. It was soon midnight.

Jack was exhausted from the outing. He collapsed immediately after his shower, and I lie down beside him hugging him from the back. He turned around giving me a kiss on the cheek. We were both naked on the bed, Jack went straight to my cock, and shove the whole shaft to his mouth, and begin working it.

“Fuck me again, dear.”

He commanded.

I lube myself up, and this time, I took the ride slowly. I wanted to have that same feeling again, that I was making love with The Boy. It felt that way, all the way for the whole 2 hours.

I could not sleep, the thoughts of having Jack as the ‘replacement’ does not seem right. Even though the feeling of us making love seems to be so intense, but that feeling of love isn’t there, at least not yet.

I would love to have a boy to myself, to pamper and to be pampered. To have something to talk to, to have something to bully and the most important, to have someone to love. Is this all ever possible? Will I ever get over it? No one knows.

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It was that time when I was walking in to the club, hoping to see some random cute boys that I stumbled upon a familiar face.

It was him, the boy that I was crying for for the past one and a half years, the boy that I had put my everything, the boy that I missed so much, that I still have his pictures on my computer desktop.

He was looking at me when I walked into the club, when I looked at him back, he quickly looked away, and trying not to exchange glance with me. That moment, it felt so painful that I can actually feel a stray tear trying really hard to get out from my tear gland.

I tried to continue my night without thinking anything about him. I started drinking, and my friends were giving me drinks. The night started pretty slowly as the boys and girls were on the dance floor dancing. I was standing beside the DJ booth trying to dance myself to the music.

More drinks were flowing to my throat, I can see the boy happily dancing and drinking with his bunch of friends from where I was standing.

It was after midnight that the drinking of 12 year old distilled malt drink that is getting me tipsy. I did not just stopped there, I continued drinking.

The next thing I know, more tears were flowing, and I was looking at the boy, trying to think back the times when we were still together; trying to think back the good times when we were still together.

It worked, with the music, and the abundance alcohol, I finally break down, and cried.

I was pissed drunk, I could not even walk straight. My friend who I was with could not drive my car, she had to call another friend of mine who were already home to come pick us up.

I sometimes still wonder, how long will this last. For the past 3 months, I had already stopped shredding tears for the boy. I tried to move on, but I don’t think I can now after I see myself what had happened to myself.

I always thought that having someone else in my heart now would change everything. I was wrong, again.

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