Two days ago, after I posted the Ash Stymest post, this organization came into my blog and posted a comment.

I love it when people post comments on my blog. I even love it if it was a lengthy comment instead of a “Hi, I am just dropping by, keep it up” kinda comment. I mean, I feel very well appreciated when people actually drops a comment and actually tells you what they think about the post that I wrote.

So, not only this organization did not comment about Ash Stymest, it was clearly a copy and paste job across any other gay blogs out there. In another word, spam.

Given by the English that they used, it was a very well written ‘comment’ by itself. I do not suspect anyone disguising as them because of the origin of the said ‘comment’ and the purpose of the said comment.

However, I was disgusted that Pink Triangle Foundation (PT Foundation) had not had paid attention when they decided to post that ‘comment’. Anyone could have just Google’d “Gay Boy Malaysia” or something and then just spam post comments.

Heres the thing that I want point out. Firstly, I have been to your center, and I had not had a good experience.

I was questioned and treated as if I am a criminal. Being stared at, being judged by the prejudice ‘volunteer’ workers. While the scare tactic could have work on other less intelligent beings, I hate it when people use it on me. I am after-all a major in Psychology.

Your place is dark, it make me and my boy uneasy. The waiting room makes people feel uneasy, the constant stare from those “I am so going to get in your pants” type of people at some anonymous HIV test center is wrong. Seriously.

I have emailed you regarding my concerns, yet there was no reply from you. I have called, only to be answered by “I don’t know.” If this is the way that I am going to be shoved around, it is not surprising that people are actually avoiding being tested than to endure the kind of torment from you people.

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To those that had sent me your best wishes on IM, and those that asked me the results the moment I signed in, I truly appreciate them. For the friends that called me, friends that had send me emails, I truly love you all.

To a friend that sent me a video that he made, it really made my day. Thanks too!

For those readers that reads my blog, I am still doing okay, and I am fine.

I was anxious nonetheless. All my previous worries were still valid until the moment I step out from the counseling room. The counseling itself was a bit uncomfortable to me, I think it if was L in the room, he would not have been comfortable as well being shoved with the questions. Then again, that is what counselors do best, making you feel uncomfortable.

Now, I am going to start from the beginning.

When I was on the way to fetch L, I was being really nervous about the whole thing. If there is a single chance that I can pull out from this, I would have immediately done so. Traffic in KL was superbly good, perhaps it was a good sign that everything would be just fine. Lester kept on assuring me that things are going to be okay, and I tried to calm down by taking deep breaths. But you know this sort of ‘life changing events’ are not that easy to overcome.

We arrived at the place. It was a corner lot of a block of building. Very run down establishment, and I can see that most of the people working there are volunteers.

At first, I had not wanted Lester to follow me, I wasn’t sure how long the whole process is going to take. I wasn’t sure what testing kits that they are using. I wasn’t even sure if I am ready to do all these. I also found out that Otot-otot sauna is in the vicinity, making me feel very uncomfortable leaving L waiting in the car.

When we arrive at the establishment, I was given a file with a questionnaire to fill up. It was a simple one to ask some general stuffs about yourself. How well do you know about HIV, and things like that. They assure you that your identity would not be needed, totally anonymous.

Then, you are assigned with a number, and it is tied to the pink folder that they hand you. The folder is then pass on to the counselor who will then brief you on what is going to happen, and ask you really private questions about your sex life. I have told the counselor that I do not need it, but I guess it is the standard procedure to be done.

That counselling procedure took about 15 minutes. It was very uncomfortable knowing that what you answer is recorded down on the answer sheet. What is comforting is that no identity is revealed, and that’s only that. Due to my sexual habit, I was rated as high risk.

Then, I was ‘pass over’ to another section of the building where the doctor is supposed to be. The doctor is supposed to explain what is the test kit, and what are the various components in the test kit and how to interpret the results. What I wanted at that time was the doctor to just draw the blood, and drip it at the test kit. I guess the doctor must have read my mind, as he had stop explaining things half way, and figured I know what is supposed to be going on.

After the blood was dripped to the test kit, it is then put into a plastic bag, into the folder and then transported to the counselor. More waiting as there were several others that are going for the screening.

I tried to peep at the test kit when the counselor took it out from the folder whilst trying hard not to be seen peeping. The counselor himself had already seen the results and had already put a lot of pressure on me, emotionally. He then explains the possibility of being positive, and what not just to make sure I am okay when he break the news that I am positive.

Then, he showed me.

My heart sank.

The test kit is from Acon Labs. A renowned company that has got many test kits in the market. They have test kits such as for Gonorrhea, Syphilis and even Hepatitis.

The HIV test kit from Acon consist of 3 possible results. Negative, HIV-1 and HIV-2. There are also possibility of HIV-1 and HIV-2 appearing together. On the test kit window, from the top it’s marked as C, T1 and T2.

There are two types of HIV: HIV-1 and HIV-2. Both types are transmitted by sexual contact, through blood, and from mother to child, and they appear to cause clinically indistinguishable AIDS. However, it seems that HIV-2 is less easily transmitted, and the period between initial infection and illness is longer in the case of HIV-2.

Worldwide, the predominant virus is HIV-1, and generally when people refer to HIV without specifying the type of virus they will be referring to HIV-1. The relatively uncommon HIV-2 type is concentrated in West Africa and is rarely found elsewhere.

Oops, I forgot. About my test results.

When I looked at my own test kit. I saw 2 lines.

I was dumb fucked. My heart sank. I did not know what to think at that moment. The counselor had probably saw that, and then he told me it is negative. However, he had to check with the doctor because the C line was smudged, making it looked like 2 lines, both on C and T1.

Counselor came back, and told me the results are okay. It is still negative. I guess I got to start thanking God for that. Lester was relieved too, of course!

For those that are not actively practicing safer sex, please do so until you are certain that you and your partner are clean. Make sure both of you stay faithful to each other. No words can be stronger than that; don’t let your pants do the thinking.

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