Cedric Ang

I guess me and David got even closer after that day of meeting him.

David is a shy but daring boy. He loves getting loved, and loves loitering in shopping complex. He called me and asked if I was free to bring him around.

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A careful plan was drafted out with Harry. The plan was to get David to Harry’s house, and then we try to seduce him with kisses, and hugs and see if we could get David aroused.

It worked up pretty okay at first. I went over to Harry’s place to pick his sleepy ass up, then went over to David’s to pick him up. We wanted to head over to my place because it was a little too early to do the shopping that Harry wanted to do. (continue reading…)

My mind is almost blank, but yet there is this feeling inside me that makes me want to shout out to the world that I have a lot on my mind, and yet still empty.

Yes, maybe I do not know how to put things in words. Maybe I am just confused of the certain feelings that I have right now, maybe it was just nothing.

His voice still echoes deep inside. I could still hear him saying things to me. Was it just my imagination, or just merely because I missed him so much?

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I could feel a hot one taking me down
For a moment, I could feel the force
Fainted to the point of tears
And you were holding on to make a point
What’s the point?

I’m but a clean man, stable and alone man
Make it so I won’t have to try
The faces always stay the same
So I face the fact that I’m just fine
I said that I’m just fine

I remember, head down,
After you had found out
Manna is a hell of a drug
And I need a little more, I think
Because enough is never quite enough
What’s enough?

I took it like a grown man crying on the pavement
Hoping you would show your face
But I haven’t heard a thing you’ve said
In at least a couple hundred days
What’d you say?

I was in the front seat, shaking it out
And I was asking if you felt alright
I never want to hear the truth
I want to hear your voice, it sounded fine
My voice, it sounded fine

I could feel my heartbeat taking me down
And for the moment, I would sleep alright
Invading with a selfish fear
To keep me up another restless night
Another restless night

The blood was dry, it was sober
The feeling of audible cracks
And I could tell it was over
From the curtains that hung from your neck

And I realized that then you were perfect
And my teeth ripping out of my head
And it looked like a painting I once knew
Back when my thoughts weren’t entirely intact

To pray for what I thought were angels
Ended up being ambulances
And the Lord showed me dreams of my daughter
She was crying inside your stomach

And I felt love again

Skating rink, I love them, I hate them.

It was one of those days when I was at Pyramid Ice. I captured this picture with my iPhone, and thought the guy was pretty good looking.

I don’t know, but I have been always in the liking for someone that is younger than me. My friends say that I like them you, I guess.

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Sleeplessness, that is what I can use to describe myself.

I would want to blame it on the different time zones, they call it jet lagged. Yes, I have been living on a jet setter’s lifestyle since late November. It was fun, to be able to travel all around, meeting different people before I start myself in Uni in May.

But that is not the point, the point is, I wanted to stay away from my home in Kuala Lumpur. I had wanted to do this for a very long time, trying to see if I could forget the boy. The truth is, I can’t. On the boy’s birthday last year, while I was in Brazil, I gave the boy a call to wish him a happy birthday. I mean, it would only be appropriate if I do that, at least, I thought it that way.

Not only was I wrong about the whole thing, I still ended up crying at night, hugging a pillow, that I was well aware that it would not hug me back.

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I guess one of the hardest thing that people encounter is when your ex boy friend tells you that they have found someone that they have fall in love with.

Many of my friends thinks that I was being foolish by supporting him in his studies, but to me, I think it is worth it as I thought it will give me the time to slowly regain the boy’s confidence.

A friend told me, that in a relationship, we cannot expect the other party to be always forgiving, and can see where is he coming from.

The relationship between me and the boy has been up and down. The most recent argument that we had was because I told him that I do not like items that flashes their logo or brand. Like a tee shirt, with a big NIKE logo at the front. The boy misunderstood me for saying that he is flashy. Why did I say that in the first place? We both agreed that we have different taste when we went shopping the other day at Pavilion. The things that he choose to buy, all bearing big logos at the front. I on the there hand, choose the more subtle designs.

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Since I keep on thinking just about L, I thought perhaps I can make a list of the things that I cannot forget about him. Things that I remember so fondly about him.

You see, in this short 5 months relationship, we have been together like well, too much. I won’t say its a good thing because the more we see each other, the more disagreement we have. Then again, I won’t say it’s a bad thing, because the period of time that we see each other, actually bonds us together even stronger.

Well, unfortunately I raised my voice and cursed at him for no obvious reasons. The only thing that I can do now is to regret my actions, and try to get him back again.

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In a heist, I pen down my entry about my boy friend after he sent me a message that he wants to take a break from the relationship, a personal time for himself.

A few people had sent me email about it, and I thank you guys for the concerns, I really do. I think my post could have been misunderstood, or making some people confused and thus asking me questions; questions is something I do not need now, what I need is some time to myself, and to think about the repercussions of the things that I have done.

This post would, hopefully explain all.

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