Cedric Ang

Well, I too not too sure what is going on with myself lately.

To think about the boy, makes me cry.

To think about home, makes me lonely.

To think about going out and take some pictures, my camera is at the bottom of a crocodile infested river in Chiang Mai.

To think about having sex with a stranger in Central Park, then I am scared of this.

So how?

One of the things that I had wanted to try was to have some clubbing fun in Japan.

As sacred as the Nantaimori, I thought the gay clubbing scene in Tokyo would be as well. I must say, I was totally overwhelmed with the experience.

It started out with this guy asking me if I was interested to join him in the club. We had both exchanged eye contacts when we were both at the local Starbucks getting our daily doses of caffeine.

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I tried so hard, I really did.

It was a prank that I have pulled that went seriously wrong.

At first, I thought I wanted to see his reaction on how he would see things. Now, I guess I have to change my point of view to a whole new perspective.

I could not sleep last night. Penning my last entry I was already exhausted, perhaps with what has been going on for the past few months, perhaps with what has been going on lately. I tried to slot in hints on my Facebook, hints that I wasn’t ready for a long distance relationship. I am a ‘closeted’ person. Closeted not that I am not out, but a rather, I prefer to be close to someone, the be able to hug the person, to kiss the person, and in return to be loved.

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I have been very lonely lately.

Ever since Frankie left for Miri to work, I have been looking at my MSN list for hours trying to look for someone to chat.

I tried to talk to the boy, but the boy refuse to talk to me because he is pissed at something that I do not think I have done.

How now ?

Maybe I should go company Puki.

I am feeling really lonely right now. I can’t do much about it.

The main reason, is because I have lost my phone, I never thought it was necessary to restore the contacts in my phone because I had the few important numbers in my phone that I would be calling when I needed someone to talk with; I was wrong.

You see, this friend of mine has got this unusual sleeping schedule. He sleeps when everyone is awake, and awake when everyone sleeps. When I tried to call him just now, he was sleeping.

Now I can really feel how Will Smith is feeling in the movie ‘I Am Legend’. Imagine a world where you have no one to talk to, a world where there is nothing.