I love cold countries, perhaps that is why I have decided to stop by Alaska during my 5 months long holiday adventure.

From day one when I arrived at Alaska, I enjoyed it all the way until the end of the trip. Dad was nice to have booked a snow sledge with huskies pulling it. The huskies are so beautiful, their eyes are glowing in the hue of blues. For a moment there, I forgot the reason why I have left Malaysia for such a long period, and went for a holiday.

The adventure did not stop there.

I had arranged for a porter to climb with me to one of the glaciers. It is not that I am lazy and living that luxurious life that I would want people to carry my bags for me, but if you were in the glaciers, you really have to be prepared. In fact, I think that I had not bring enough food!

The porter that I had hired was not available last minute when I wanted him. He sent his younger brother instead. I was a little skeptical when the porter came to speak to me. I can’t see his face properly, he was was covered up and only exposing the bright blue eyes of his. He sounds like someone whose age not older than me by a decade. How much experience could a young porter like him has? I was skeptical, indeed.

I pack up a few gears, totally forgot that I would be hiking on ice and show. I naively packed my non-water proved warm weather shoes. After I took the picture, only I realized that it would not work. I switched a pair with sole covers, and water proved pants too.

Armed with a pair of water proof shoes, couple with the shoe spikes, I was ready to walk the icy mountains. Not before I arm the shoes with the spikes to enable us to walk on ice.

While the porter were preparing his gears, I noticed his shoes were covered with screws. I guess, it was great for tractions.

Back to the porter.

I did not realized that he is about the same age as me, not before he started to talk to me. He sounded young, like very young.

It was during one of the pit stop that we had on our rest that he took off the scarfs that was hiding his face. Revealing underneath the scarfs was a pair of shinny blue eyes, and a flawless complexion. Immediately I felt that I have known him for the longest time. His name is Michael.

We rested and build our tent at base camp. It was already noon and it would be suicidal if we continue our journey as there will be no spots for us to build our tent before the night falls.

There wasn’t many group of people at base camp. We build our tent almost by the edge of the spot where we had more privacy than the ‘hot spots’.

The night was extremely cold. It was so cold that I had to put on extra jacket. Middle of the night, Michael turned over and hugged me. I hugged back, and I could feel his body warmth compliment with mine. His breath was blowing towards my face. Under the dim moon light that managed to penetrate over the tent, I could see his moist lips, waiting for me to kiss it. We slept throughout the night without any incident.

It was 5 am. I woke up with my hand on the boy’s crotch. I did not know how it got there, but we were sleeping in the same sleeping bag. I or he must have snuggle in for the warmth.

My watch said it was 6am, but I always manage to mess up my alarm clock. I freaked out because I really thought it was 6 am, checked the other clock, and it says 5 am.

Went out to wash up. Michael had already got up, making coffee and getting ready for the hike.

It was still dark. The snow is 5000 feet right now, in case you are curious.

The base camp seems to came alive again. People are starting to get ready and getting to get to the top.

We pack up and got ready ourself. I helped Michael to break camp, and we started the hike up. We took a different route where Michael claimed that it is more scenic than the others. He did say it was more tougher, which I agree that we can try.

As we walk on the ice and snow, I still can see the stars twinkling high above. It was clear sky, even before the sun peeked through the mountains. We reached one of the scenic spot where I got this picture. It was fantastic, just me and Michael, alone and surrounded by nature.

Throughout the week, me and Michael shared a lot of our life stories. I found out that Michael just broke up with his boy friend, and that I looked a little like him. I told him about mine, and we instantly became good buddies. He would also story about horny Americans asking him to jerk off for them and such, of course, the innocent Michael did not do it. He did hinted to me that he would not mind jerking me off.

One of the nights, where the weather was a little warmer than usual, we strip off our pants, in the tent, and both of us had the best orgasm ever.

Nuff said, here are some pictures.

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Skating rink, I love them, I hate them.

It was one of those days when I was at Pyramid Ice. I captured this picture with my iPhone, and thought the guy was pretty good looking.

I don’t know, but I have been always in the liking for someone that is younger than me. My friends say that I like them you, I guess.

I had always loved the skating rink. It was my second time on the rink, I think. It looked so easy when you see people young and old gliding on the ice gracefully. My first time, it was slippery, nevermind that. The grooves that those people make on the ice, felt right to my legs. Why can’t people build softer skating shoes? Perhaps that way, I don’t feel the grooves on the ice?

It was a weird feeling, a feeling that I did not remember from my first time skating at Pyramid Ice.

I still remember the first time, after so many times of persuading that the boy need to do, that I went over to the rink, with him and another friend. The boy gave the excuse that we can finally hold hands in public, which is a very much given excuse, ever since my fondness of public display of affection.

After that much persuasion I finally gave in, and with another friend, we went to the skating rink.

The stinky shoes, the chill from the ice, the soggy gloves.

I finally did it. I was on the ice. The boy hold me by my hand, slowly dragging me. I tried to slide on the ice myself, and to no avail, I felt like my world been shaking too much, I can’t stand still on my feet.

There it was, the fall. Right smack center of that 2 butt cheeks. I felt the ice cracking until the skin of my pants, I really did.

I sat there on the ice, unspoken. Still traumatized from the fall. The fear that I feared the most.

It was those feeling where you wanted to shout out loud, but there’s something that is blocking your vocal cords. It was the same feeling that I had last time, when I fell down from the bicycle on the way to school.

I do admire people that can skate very well. I admire that they do not have the phobia of falling down like I did. I know damn well that, without this falling sensation, I too can be very good at it. I love the carefree movements, I love the speed and I love the sensation of wind rubbing against the hair.

Of course, the boy picked me up after that. He was worried. He kept on asking me if I was alright, but I can’t answer him. Just kept on nodding to him, and he then took me the the bench.

He hold me tight, worried about what had happened. I can see it from his eyes that he had regret dragging me to the skating rink despite my protest. I wish I could tell him it was alright, and that I do not blame him.

We hugged, for once at the bench at the skating rink compound, in the public eyes, we hugged.

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I used to buy a lot of condoms.

No, I do not use them. Well, maybe once or twice, but very seldom.

Condoms to me are never a mix. I dislike the smell, I dislike the ‘action’ of having to take off the condom after a good fuck. Most people would want to just rest after a good 3 hours of bedding session, I would appreciate that too.

Of late, I have been watching way too many series that somewhat has the element of HIV/AIDS. It all started when I was going through the HIV test with the boy. My results was okay, but the counseling was the one that killed me that day.

I am wondering, why the sudden surge of HIV related lines or scripts in the movies nowadays. Perhaps it was the choice of series that I am watching? For Queer As Folk, I could understand, it is a homosexual related drama series; Having HIV/AIDS lines in the script is pretty normal (and it still freaks me out). Nip/Tuck on the other hand, shows more on plastic surgery, the boobs and the occasionally gay acts. Perhaps that is how HIV/AIDS come in view, because of the generous sex scenes?

Speaking of which, I think I am going to be addicted to plastic surgery.

Damn I hate these series sometimes.

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One of the nice things in a relationship is holding hands.

I like to hold the boy’s hands. Whether is it in the car, or just generally giving him that brisk hug that he deserves.

Holding hands to me is the kind of physical intimacy that is the kind of expression of feelings that I have for the boy. It gives the means of being present in that someone’s personal space. I hold hands with the boy, is because I want to share the things that he has, the personal space.

Holding hands significates the affection that I have to the boy.

Of recent, the boy has been avoiding holding my hand. Not to say totally avoid, but rather, with little response when I try to hold his hand…

I am confused with the kind of relationship that we are having now. We are in a relationship that no one, and not even ourself could explain or put a name to it. We are not boy friends, but we do things that other couple do together. We are not friends, because the amount of intimacy, and care, and attention that we give each others already warrant it to be otherwise.

Then again, it is hard for anyone to explain what kind of relationship we are in. As much as I would want the boy to get back to me, he is reluctant because I kept on hurting him, subconsiously.

It is common for couple with a wider age gap to share a different opinions over certain things or situation. It happened for generally quite a number of times, and most of the times each of us would debate on what is for the better.

I however, do not believe that the age difference is a permanent damage to our relationship. I believe that things will work out fine, but the amount of hurt feelings keep on coming, and pouring to our already sore hearts, will it ever stop?

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