Cedric Ang

I guess some things are starting to get better now.

Harry MSN’ed me the other day. I was surprised to say the least; I had figured out it is either of the two things. One, Harry had broken up with the boy friend, or two Harry wanted to scold me for something, or both of it.

I was right, they broke up.

In fact, Harry had broke up a few weeks ago, and had been dating this guy that I know.

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I thought I had always imagined the scene of the movie Outbreak; dark, creepy, metal-framed bed of a medical facility with someone in a bright florescent protective suit mumbling something through the build in microphone.

Arriving at New York not too long ago, I never thought it would be that easy for me to catch the flu virus. I had pre packed N95 masks, plenty of hand sanitizers, and even make sure the place where I sleep are clean from the virus by anti bacteria sprays, and I spray on my body lots of D&G fragrance (alcohol kills germs, you see).

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I know I normally do not post videos, but there is always the first time in doing anything.

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It rained again.

Again, it is always the rain that would put me into deep thoughts.

It feels like the rain might have some super power over me I don’t know.

I was having a conversation with David, when he told me that he already got a boy friend now. I should have thought better.

Reading Apollo David’s post on being kind, I felt the same situation is bestow upon me.

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I tried so hard, I really did.

It was a prank that I have pulled that went seriously wrong.

At first, I thought I wanted to see his reaction on how he would see things. Now, I guess I have to change my point of view to a whole new perspective.

I could not sleep last night. Penning my last entry I was already exhausted, perhaps with what has been going on for the past few months, perhaps with what has been going on lately. I tried to slot in hints on my Facebook, hints that I wasn’t ready for a long distance relationship. I am a ‘closeted’ person. Closeted not that I am not out, but a rather, I prefer to be close to someone, the be able to hug the person, to kiss the person, and in return to be loved.

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I must have been the most happiest guy on earth right now.

Indulging myself with the cake that David had bought me, it sent me into deep thoughts again.

I do wonder somethings, why can’t we as human being be nicer to each other, and everyone is happy. Instead, we choose to have our selfless thoughts, putting our differences in front of us all the time, and often us that as an excuse to take grudge against one another.

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I guess me and David got even closer after that day of meeting him.

David is a shy but daring boy. He loves getting loved, and loves loitering in shopping complex. He called me and asked if I was free to bring him around.

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A careful plan was drafted out with Harry. The plan was to get David to Harry’s house, and then we try to seduce him with kisses, and hugs and see if we could get David aroused.

It worked up pretty okay at first. I went over to Harry’s place to pick his sleepy ass up, then went over to David’s to pick him up. We wanted to head over to my place because it was a little too early to do the shopping that Harry wanted to do. (continue reading…)

“Cedric, you ex boy friend looks like my friend. He is my junior and he looked exactly like him”

That was what he told me when I first showed him the boy’s picture over the Internet. I had slowly gotten over the whole break-up thing, but I wasn’t still sure that I have put the boy aside, and continue with what is going on what is in front of me.

I supposed I cannot forget the fact that I can easily fall in love, even back in my heart, I still think about the boy, all the time.

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My mind is almost blank, but yet there is this feeling inside me that makes me want to shout out to the world that I have a lot on my mind, and yet still empty.

Yes, maybe I do not know how to put things in words. Maybe I am just confused of the certain feelings that I have right now, maybe it was just nothing.

His voice still echoes deep inside. I could still hear him saying things to me. Was it just my imagination, or just merely because I missed him so much?

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