As sacred as the Nantaimori, I thought the gay clubbing scene in Tokyo would be as well. I must say, I was totally overwhelmed with the experience.

It started out with this guy asking me if I was interested to join him in the club. We had both exchanged eye contacts when we were both at the local Starbucks getting our daily doses of caffeine.

I was a little sceptical about the whole experience at first. I mean, the conservative Japanese crowd? Loud dance music? Not really my kind of music but I would not mind paying 200 yen for a glass of beer. I went on ahead and met up with my new found friend.

The smell of alcohol filled my nostrils when I entered the club. It seems like alcohol is not only dirt cheap, it comes free on the house if you are willing to strip down to your underwears. Well, I found that out later, much much more later.

I had thought myself never to accept drinks from strangers in a club. Just for the night, I had broken my own rules. Perhaps, but it seems like these Japanese guys are just too much of an effort to be turned down, however.

So there I was, sipping drinks and sharing with a few hot Japanese. They were talking with me in a foreign language that I don’t understand, and then this young Japanese guy approached me and say, “I think they want you on the bar.”

There I was, with the crowd cheering asking me to strip. Which I did.

Dancing to the euphoric music, and a couple of beers later, and the night was too hot for me, even though it was almost 10 degrees outside.

My night ended at Kanata’s place at around 3 am in the morning. I was too intoxicated to tell him where I am living, so he brought be back instead.

Kanata is 19 and he stays alone in a very well Japanese decorated single room apartment not far from where the club was. As I lay myself on the tatami, while Kanata freshen himself up. Still overwhelmed by the ‘clubbing’ experience, I wandered myself into dreamland.

I felt a warm body beside me, I startled.

Kanata had taken off my cloths, leaving me with only my boxers. The room did not feel cold maybe because I have got Kanata’s body heat, and from the central heating. I turned and gave Kanata a slightly tight hug.

Perhaps at that moment, I was lonely, and I felt that I need some love. I don’t know why but I launched myself forward towards Kanata, and gave him a slightly sloppy kiss on his lips.

Needless to say, Kanata was surprised by my sudden move but it did not take long for him to give me a kiss back.

I looked at Kanata’s angel eyes, still hugging each other, I could feel Kanata’s warm hand inside my boxers, looking its way the the family jewel.

Perhaps it was my eyes that told Kanata that I wasn’t ready, or perhaps it was my ‘inaction’ that told him I wasn’t up for it, Kanata took off his hands, and gave me a long passionate kiss.

We both hugged, and kiss and fell asleep in each other’s embrace.

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Yes, maybe I do not know how to put things in words. Maybe I am just confused of the certain feelings that I have right now, maybe it was just nothing.

His voice still echoes deep inside. I could still hear him saying things to me. Was it just my imagination, or just merely because I missed him so much?

It has been almost a year that we both break up officially. It was also the time where the boy had hitched a ride and went home with someone. It was the time when I heard news about the boy not going back home, and I cried and cried because I had missed him so damn much.

I do not know why, but my feelings in such way is only the first time towards the boy. I had no problem letting my other boy friends go, no matter how much we claimed to be in love with each other. I sometimes wasn’t sure if it was the companionship that me and the boy both had, or it was the sex that was so great.

Listening to the songs in my iPhone do not make things much more easier for me. When my song list goes to the song “Shake It” by Metrostation, I think about how I make fun of the song. When my song list goes to “Sorry, Blame it on me” by Akon, I think about how the boy had talked about the meaning of the song, about the story behind it. I listen to Britney and I will think about how I used to whine when he put on Britney.

They say, time will heal albeit slowly. Really?

I still see my wounds, fresh and wet. Tears? They have not abandoned me, still visits me all the time.

The boy had not contacted me for almost three months now. The last time I tried to talk to him was when I called him to wish him a happy birthday.

I had no other means of contacting him beside the phone call. I could however just stop by his place and gave him a surprise visit, but I do not really want to freak him out.

A friend once asked me.

“Do you think you still can be as how it used to be, if the boy had come back to you again?”

I guess, things would not be the same anymore. We as human beings, are not that forgiving as we want us to be ourselves. It isn’t too hard to apologize, it isn’t that hard to say that I am sorry. How easy for it for someone to forgive, and hopefully to forget?

If you loved someone and you break up, where does the love go?

How can we transform a once passionate love, into something that fits nice and easily onto the friendship shelf? I wonder, instead of pretending each other doesn’t exist, can’t we be friends or something ?

I really hope someday, very soon, that we can all meet for a drink and be great friends; just like in the movies.

Memories. Light the corners of my mind. Misty water-colored memories. Of the way we were. Can it be, can it be that it was all so simple then? Or has time re-written every line? If we had the chance to do it all again. Tell me. Would we? Could we?

I would have not hurt you deliberately, will you forgive me, L?

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The outing to Marketplace was definitely the first time experience for me. Tuck away from the usual ‘hot spots’ of bars and drunkards. Nicely composed with the Petronas Twin Towers at the background, MarketPlace KL is situated at Lorong Yap Kuan Seng. Tuck within the city, it is a makeshift 2 story bungalow. The subtle lighting from the nearby towers give it a glow, one would then wonder, how much does Petronas pay for their electricity bill.

The night started when we decided to head over to SIN, I was having the assumption that it was a ‘Madonna’ event since I was exclusively invited by the manager themselves. Sadly, silly me made a mistake, it was a Underwear Model theme on Saturday, and ‘Madonna’ was the day before. Underwear theme would be fun, drooling over almost naked models does send the mind into the fantasy land.

Of course, we were kicked out from SIN because Jay was underage to enter a club. Poor Jay.

We wanted to check out Thai Club which is opposite. I am always fond of that place, the memories, the eye candies, and of course, the Thai boy that is working there. The crowd? So so as Frankie puts it, I would agree too seeing how not crowded the place was. Eye candies? Can’t spot any.

While we were hanging out at the entrance of Thai Club, an eye candy walk pass me, just merely a feet away, I could almost smell the cologne that he was wearing. Sporting a short and neatly cut hair, he has got this facial complexion that one could only dream of. Not too tall, and just the right height for my liking; Just as the eye candy walked passed, I saw that view that I was very familiar with, it was Hamster. Hamster did not seem to have noticed me, never mind, I called him on his cell, and he was on the way to some water hole to get his tummy medicated. I asked, is there a guy that is wearing a brown stripe shirt with him, he said yes.

Delighted, me, Frankie and Jay headed towards Hamster. Never mind being kicked out from SIN, at least we have an eye candy to stare at for the next couple of minutes. Apparently, Mr Eye Candy is a friend of Lester, in fact, they are good friends. The ‘Off Limits’ alarm came on violently to my mind.

The other group that was with Hamster wanted to stay there, at La Queen. It is a dreadful place to be in, but that is another story for another time. We head over to Marketplace, where the crowd was not too good. We were wondering if our combination of appearance actually make all the clubbers go away, I mean, first it was the [empty S.I.N](http://www.cedricang.com/a/encounters/saturday-outing-with-horny-people-20080624/ Saturday outing”), then now this? Something must have been gone really wrong here.

We ordered a couple of drinks, trying to get high from drinking while staring at the empty dance floor. Jay has got a few eyes laid on him, some really nice gentlemen at the end of the bar bought me a few drinks.

It was almost midnight that the crowd started to gather around the dance floor. As the people have told me beforehand, MarketPlace is for muscle guys. It was true, everyone you see there, either come with extremely tight tops, or bulging biceps. It was tempting to just jump over and touch those nicely define chest and biceps, purely an indulgence by itself.

As the music gets better, the crowd gets even better. With the small dance floor, it was overly over crowded. While I did retreat to the bar for a couple of times to ease myself from the sweats and the body heat, a few more drinks come to me by some unknown. I got a few notes with phone numbers, Adrian, Jason and Lincoln. Nice names, I thought.

Drunk and tired, we went over to the mamak next door. You then thought nothing else happen, in fact something really kinky and hot happened that night. But of course, that would be another story to tell.

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