Cedric Ang

Sleeplessness, that is what I can use to describe myself.

I would want to blame it on the different time zones, they call it jet lagged. Yes, I have been living on a jet setter’s lifestyle since late November. It was fun, to be able to travel all around, meeting different people before I start myself in Uni in May.

But that is not the point, the point is, I wanted to stay away from my home in Kuala Lumpur. I had wanted to do this for a very long time, trying to see if I could forget the boy. The truth is, I can’t. On the boy’s birthday last year, while I was in Brazil, I gave the boy a call to wish him a happy birthday. I mean, it would only be appropriate if I do that, at least, I thought it that way.

Not only was I wrong about the whole thing, I still ended up crying at night, hugging a pillow, that I was well aware that it would not hug me back.

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I do not understand why do you people think I give a fuck what you people think if L.

L is a sweet boy, call me ignorant but I do not think that he is a money boy. Things between us did not work well, and I am trying to make things work, L too believes that things might work well between us, that is why there is this gap that both of us left ourself before the actual “breakup”.

Yes, we officially ended back in April, earlier but I choose to ignore the details. To me, it never ended back then because after that, we got back together, had loads of fun spending time together, making love (mind you, not sex!) and just being in the presence of each other.

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I don’t know why is this always happening. The main question is, why can’t we just get along with each other?

On the faithful Saturday, we were supposed to catch a musical play. I mean, we haven done that before, and I thought it would be something new for us, something nice and something different. Looking at the clock, barely 3 more hours before I pick him up, waiting anxiously and watching the clock tick.

Then, my ex boy friend called me and need me to help him something. His computer had got problems, and I thought of giving him that helping hand. I told my boy friend about it, just as a habit of letting him know my whereabouts.

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A lot of people had been asking me how did my last adventure in the zoo go. I could only say that some details has been removed to protect my dear, and of course to protect me. All in all, we took about 4GB worth of pictures. That’s about 1000+ of pictures in 7 Megapixels worth.

On a rather serious questions, do you still keep in touch with your boy friends after a bad breakup? Do you apologize before the breakup? Do you say thank you?

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For the past 10 days or so, I have not had a proper meal. It wasn’t because food was not available to me, but rather the food just doesn’t look appetizing enough for me to eat.

L knows I love eating, and I have been gaining weight slowly. L did complained to me that I am getting fatter and he did jokingly said he would leave me one day

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One of the hardest thing that comes in any ‘breakup package’ is the amount of tears that you are required to shred.

I had not had the hearts to leave L. I know I have always use that to threaten L and it never work, not a single once.

Me for one could not take the breakup that easily. Both of us are hard sells. He wants me to start it over again, I can’t seeing the amount of feelings that I had with him, and I certainly would not want to just ‘move on’.

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