Happy Birthday, 2012

On the 21st of Decem­ber, last year I told myself, that I would want to write some­thing here, that oblig­a­tory post that I post  every year.

To be fair, I did try to pen some­thing, although I would not say pen because that ‘pen some­thing’ was actu­ally a form of vir­tual entry that I have in my brain, that sorta thing.

The one sided mes­sage even­tu­ally ended. The num­ber I think have switched hands a cou­ple of times, as I have seen dif­fer­ent pro­file pic­tures on What­sapp for that num­ber. I didn’t try to mes­sage, but per­haps I want to keep it, for old time’s sake.

Should I be still writ­ing about him? Should I be still think­ing about him? Should I be still won­der­ing how is he and what is he doing?

I have never been into a rela­tion­ship so real, or so fake before. Real because it is tak­ing me for­ever to for­get about the boy; lets be real, how can one for­get some­thing so eas­ily, unless we have some­thing that bonk onto our head. How can it be fake, then? I remem­ber a whole lot of time spend­ing together, but I don’t remem­ber much about doing things together. Sex, out for drink, and that’s about it.

I still fail to locate his Face­book. He’s the kinda per­son that would do any­thing to pro­tect his pri­vacy, but I don’t think he blocked me or any­thing. I just can’t do a ‘search’ on him. I can’t stalk his friends because he had kept two dif­fer­ent sets of friends; the gay ones, and the hypocrites.

He did appeared on LinkedIn, where some­how we are well some­how con­nected. From the looks of it, he didn’t man­age to fin­ish what I started for him, and is now work­ing in the cos­metic line, which is some­thing I would imag­ine him doing,

I always asked myself, was he worth the time that I keep on remind­ing myself of what we never had? Is it cheat­ing that I some­times think about him? We are human being, after all. Right?

Happy birth­day 22nd, L.