When you think you don’t care

When I receive words from L that he will be out with a friend to a pub for an inter­view, I was wor­ried.

After I have start­ed the courtship with L, I have giv­en him my spare phone num­ber which is also my sup­pli­men­ta­ry line num­ber because it would be more log­ic to call or text me using that num­ber. Although that L promised me he would pay his end of the line, I would not care.

When he break the news that he was with a friend in a pub, it got me wor­ried, and only to get worst when I still had not hear from him way until clos­ing time of any pub is allowed to open.


It was about 8 some­thing at night when he said that he is in a pub with a friend. From my under­stand­ing, this friend is work­ing there, and is try­ing to intro­duce the job to L.

I wasn’t too com­fort­able with this. Main­ly because of the envi­ron­ment, and prob­a­bly because of how roody a crowd can be in a pub, espe­cial­ly dur­ing week­ends. I have worked in a pub before, and I did not like it because of the ‘peo­ple’. They are just too, dan­ger­ous.

Come mid­night, I still have not heard from L. I sent him a cou­ple of SMS which was unan­swered because his phone had run out of bat­tery. I fig­ured if he was to got back already, he would already received my mes­sage when he plug his phone into his charg­er.

With friend find­er, I man­aged to send a mes­sage to the ser­vice before L’s bat­tery cut off. He was in the vicin­i­ty of the worst place to be, Sun­way Men­tari.

While I agree that the rates of the pubs there are good, but they peo­ple there are just too scar­ry to imag­ine. My friends and I had a cou­ple of expe­ri­ence where a wave of trans­ver­site run­ning towards us when we were sit­ting at a restau­rant near­by, fol­lowed by a few enforce­ment offi­cers.

I got real­ly wor­ried, and I went out search­ing for L. I went on to the loca­tion where the Friend find­er ser­vice indi­cat­ed where L was last at, I sent myself anoth­er Friend Find­er request to con­firm, and I search the area around and around not hop­ing to see what I have least hope.

Emp­ty hand­ed, I reached home feel­ing relieved that I had not find L, in the mean time, I was still wor­ried. I still had not heard any­thing from him.

He sent me a mes­sage around 5 some­thing. I saw the mes­sage. I could not sleep the whole night, and I drift­ed to sleep after that.

I mes­saged him again the next after­noon, he said he was sor­ry and that his phone was out of bat­tery. Can’t blame him. Sit­u­a­tion like this hap­pened to me before.

I thought I could get to talk to him online, he went out before I can get to talk to him.

I thought he must be back to sleep again, since he got back so late pre­vi­ous­ly. I only to find out he is not when I send a Friend Find­er request.

Well, this time he said he was in the cin­e­ma with friends. Okay with me actu­al­ly, but he did not tell me until I asked him for the third time.

I real­ly had a rough day at work, I thought I could get some­one to talk to. I send L anoth­er sms ask­ing him where he is, and per­haps by habit, I sent anoth­er request to Friend Find­er as well. His last loca­tion was at the same place where he was yes­ter­day, the pub.

Streaks of tears flow­ing down my cheek, wet­ting my pil­low…

Comments are closed.