Sex with Colleague

I remem­bered my first crush when I was work­ing.

It was just a nor­mal com­pa­ny, Chi­nese owned. Busi­ness is as usu­al and I am there just mind­ing my own work. Then this Malay boy came in for inter­view. He looked a lit­tle like a friend of mine that I know. A week lat­er, he was hired.

This Malay boy is actu­al­ly mixed race, which makes him more inter­est­ing. He has got that nice accent of his, but I think he was fak­ing it, or tried to fake it. It doesn’t mat­ter, but the way he say things seri­ous­ly melts my heart.

We are in the dif­fer­ent depart­ment. I am just some nobody data entry work­ing my part time dur­ing col­lege hol­i­days. So every time I will make excuse to make some cof­fee, because then I will be able to see that cute young face. Once a while he would smile at me, and one fine day, we final­ly spo­ken.

Being the shy me, it is very unusu­al for me to speak to strangers, espe­cial­ly if that par­tic­u­lar stranger is some­thing I had my crush on. From the hi and bye, it turned into longer chats. “How is work”, “what work do you do”, “how many broth­ers do you have”, “do you have a girl friend” became part of the chat. I remem­bered the time when I asked him about his girl friend, he give me that cheeky kin­da look, as if he was hint­ing to me that he is not the kind of per­son that I might think he is.

We exchanged MSN after that. Yes, even in the same com­pa­ny, I do not have his MSN. Now my cof­fee breaks are vir­tu­al­ly cut short, since we are already chat­ting on MSN. I then found out that he is actu­al­ly bisex­u­al, and have just broke up with his boy friend. Not that he love his boy friend that much, but he is look­ing into options to look for anoth­er one that he can share his feel­ings to.

There is this one day when I went out for lunch, and we bump into each oth­er at the stairs. He was hav­ing his smoke break.

I gave him a smile and walked down the stairs to go for lunch. He called out my name.

Cedric, can I ask you some­thing?”

Yeh, was­sup?”

I walked back up, stand­ing in front of him now, wait­ing for the ques­tion that he want to ask me. He think for a while, and asked me.

Do you have a boy friend, Cedric?”

No, can’t find. Why ask?”

Well, you know. I am look­ing for some­one that I can share my feel­ings with, some­one that has got the same feel­ings for me. You have a crush on me right?”

For all the while that I was try­ing to hide my feel­ings towards him. For every­thing that I have been try­ing to do, sud­den­ly my bub­ble just burst like that.

No, sor­ry man I got to go for lunch. Lot­sa things to con­tin­ue.”

Yes, I freaked out. I freaked out in front of him. I left him stand­ing right there and then at the stairs. He was dumb fucked. I could hear how his heart were scream­ing at him­self for being so stu­pid ask­ing me that ques­tion. I can hear how his heart shat­tered because of what I said.

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