Relationship, does it have to suck all the time?

I seriously do not understand why is the relationship always like this.

As much as I want it to turn to a sweet side of the story, as much as I tried to do what is I assume is the best, it always turn outs to be something else.

Everything was seems to be working fine, I take it because things are going smoothly, I do not get angry as often as last time. He doesn’t piss me off as often as last time. Then, today, words got exchanged, and he finally said that it is over.

No, I said maybe we should consider to end it since both of us were suffering from the relationship. I had done so many things to try to make it feels and look nice, I have done so many things to try to make him happy, and yet I now feel that there are some things that I have not done.

Why is it always that I do not seem to show that I really appreciate the relationship? I mean, I should be because everything I was the one that wanted it back. Do I really take things for granted? Like proposing to end the relationship and after a few minutes, quickly take my own words back ?

I can’t sleep. Not because I am not tired; I am exhausted from what is happening for the last couple of days. Things at work, things with the family and the relationship. I cannot seem to focus on one thing at a time, and this make things kinda suck.

When I am lonely, I think of him. When I need someone, I think of him.

Almost 4 am in the morning, and I can’t sleep. Great !

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