I have been thinking, and confused.

I love my job, I love my boy friend. Actually, both has got nothing in common, but both also tied together with each other. Fuck, I don’t know how should I put this. I don’t know how should I relate it. I have got a lot to blog about but I really do not know how to put my feelings into words.

Well, it all started when I know my boy friend. I met him from Friendster. I then met up with him at his cousin’s place.

Took him to Genting that day, and then brought him home. Well, what happened next really changed me, perhaps my boy friend as well.

I went to his birthday, of course as his boyfriend I would like to be beside him all the time, but I made a mistake, a pretty fatal one. You see, his family do not know that he is a homosexual, perhaps they had a hint but what I did just made them believe that my boy friend is one.

During his birthday party, when he was spending time with his friends, I gave him a hug, in fact I think I hugged him almost most of the time. This is being seen by my boy friend’s parents, which is bad. Towards his friends, my boy friend is open about him being a gay.

We went out for quite some time already, and am still going out. He haven had his foreskin totally off his penile head, I forgot what’s the term for that. I borrowed him the cyberskin butt that I have got last time, and bought him a tube of KY Jelly to complement with that.

Well, it started like this. He went out with Midvalley with his god brother, something that I am not totally comfortable with, but as a relationship, I should have trust in him and should not control him too much. I should give him some personal space, to know some new people and this kinda things.

Anyways, when he was out that faithful night, his parents went over his belongings. They found the cyberskin and the KY Jelly.

That same day, I did not know that my boy friend was with his god brother. Since we had friend finder, I did a search on him and then he text me and told me that he is in Midvalley. I assumed that he was with his parents. It was something about going home himself that I realized that he was not with his parents. I was so short of cash that time, but I just had to go find him and send him back.

Sent him back near his house, and he walked in. I do not want to drop him in front of his house in fear of his parents. When I was back, I got a phone call from his dad asking me if it was me that sent him back. His dad questioned me about why did I not drop him in front of the house, perhaps trying to create a conversation before telling me that his mother found the “toys”.

My boy friend lost his handfone once, his friend returned it to him. I don’t care as long as the phone is not totally lost. Just a week or so, he lost the phone again, this time with no chance of getting it back because he lost it in a public place.

I am pretty frustrated that day, because of some unforeseen events, I did not scold him. I know its not his fault or something, just some carelessness, and one should not be blamed for being careless.

It has been quite some time since we see each other. Mainly because of the restrain that his parents put on him.

Yesterday, my boy friend called me telling me that his mother broke his piggy bank that his friends got for him for his birthday, and that was for silly little things. Could not wake up on time for school. I mean what the fuck, don’t we all overslept sometimes?

My boy friend made something for me, keeping it a secret. It was a sweater. When he went home yesterday, he found a torn sweater, and the broken piggy bank is not even being cleared up.

I somehow feel responsible for this, for everything, should I just leave my boy friend, or should I continue be with him? I can’t fucking think!

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