Love phobia

Once bitten, you take make your steps precautiously. Sometimes, there are things that cannot be prevented.

It was quite a scary thought, the thought of seeing the boy in La Queen.

The story goes like this.

For the past week, I had not had much success with talking to the boy. On that Saturday, after our outing and shopping spree, we went to a fast food restaurant for supper. The boy needed to use the gents, and there he went.

I waited for a while, and he still had not appear, so I went and look for a seat, and then I took out my camera, and review the pictures that we took that day. It was a very happy day for both of us, at least I think it is. We had a great time with each other’s company.

I saw the boy leaving the gents, I thought of keeping quiet, and see what were his reactions.

The boy was wandering all around the place, but he had failed to look inside near the gents where there are some tables there. From the glass mirror, I can see his worried face, I wanted to just cut the game, and go to him, but in the mean time, I wanted to see what were his reactions.

A couple of minutes later, the boy finally spotted me. He looked worried sick, and at that moment, looking at him, my heart sank.

We queue up to get our supper, the boy did not talk for the whole period of time. He was angry at me.

Our supper had to cut short when the boy complained about a bad tummy ache. Perhaps it was because of the lack of food.

I sent him home after that, I told him to try to sleep. It feels better.

Sigh ..

A few days passed, and the boy had not reply to my messages. He was really upset about what I did.

When he finally replied, he told me that he sometimes curled up on the bed in tears because I have hurt him so much. He said that what I did on Saturday make him feel really insecure.

I agree.

When the boy don’t talk to me, I felt insecure as well.

I was afraid, I was afraid that something like the last time might happen again. No calls, no messages, and the next thing you know, he is seeing someone else.

That is why I was so afraid to go to La Queen, I do not want to bump into him …

Am I over thinking ?

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4 Responses to Love phobia

  1. Alan August 12, 2008 at 6:14 pm #

    Hi, I just came over your blog and after I read it, what came to my mind is if you want to fell better, don’t think anymore or should I say next time when you face the same situation, don’t think too much. It’s normal to think like that. Even I sometimes got myself thinking why hasn’t he reply me. I see no messages, no replies, nothing from him. So I came to realize, you just don’t have to think too much and just let it be. It might turn out better. We never know. Btw, what did you actually did in the gents? Just curious~

  2. Cedric Ang August 13, 2008 at 10:55 am #

    Alan: I can’t help but think of it, I am sure my boy does the same too.

    I wasn’t in the gents, the boy is. I was waiting.

  3. clement August 14, 2008 at 11:16 am #

    hi ced,

    what alan said was right. just dont think so much. Why think so much? Think another way… if you keep thinking and the other half is enjoying himself? not worth right…. Be simple… sometimes certain people doesnt really need us to be ultra sensitive and care about them. if we are too obssessed and care them so much, they will be very proud and ego. Let it be…. okie! nice day ahead!

  4. Cedric Ang August 14, 2008 at 8:46 pm #

    clemet: Yes, i agree. Well I am trying not to think too much, but we certainly need to see how.