One of the nice things in a relationship is holding hands.
I like to hold the boy’s hands. Whether is it in the car, or just generally giving him that brisk hug that he deserves.
Holding hands to me is the kind of physical intimacy that is the kind of expression of feelings that I have for the boy. It gives the means of being present in that someone’s personal space. I hold hands with the boy, is because I want to share the things that he has, the personal space.
Holding hands significates the affection that I have to the boy.
Of recent, the boy has been avoiding holding my hand. Not to say totally avoid, but rather, with little response when I try to hold his hand…
I am confused with the kind of relationship that we are having now. We are in a relationship that no one, and not even ourself could explain or put a name to it. We are not boy friends, but we do things that other couple do together. We are not friends, because the amount of intimacy, and care, and attention that we give each others already warrant it to be otherwise.
Then again, it is hard for anyone to explain what kind of relationship we are in. As much as I would want the boy to get back to me, he is reluctant because I kept on hurting him, subconsiously.
It is common for couple with a wider age gap to share a different opinions over certain things or situation. It happened for generally quite a number of times, and most of the times each of us would debate on what is for the better.
I however, do not believe that the age difference is a permanent damage to our relationship. I believe that things will work out fine, but the amount of hurt feelings keep on coming, and pouring to our already sore hearts, will it ever stop?