Archive | Relationships

Happy Birthday, 2011

I do not know when, but when I last sent The Boy a one-sided short text mes­sage, I did not receive a deliv­ery report. No replies, no deliv­ery report, noth­ing. This was back in 2010.

A few days back, as I was brows­ing on my What­sapp, I saw a famil­iar num­ber that was on What­sapp. It was The Boy’s num­ber; I have kept his num­ber till date, not want­i­ng to remove it from my address book, not want­i­ng to remove him.

Iron­ic, I am still not able to get him on Face­book, he has just van­ished.

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What have we become?

Did I real­ly try to make every­one hap­py, that I have total­ly for­got­ten about myself? Why is it every time when I need­ed to talk to some­body, no one seem to be avail­able to talk to me?

I should be the kin­da per­son that when I press a but­ton on my phone, there should be some­one that I could talk to, eas­i­ly. Instead when I scroll through my address book, all I can find are the num­bers of my fuck bud­dies, sex part­ners, one night stands and no one else. Has my life ‘evolved’ so much that sex is only what I need, and not love any­more?

To think, the ses­sion was pret­ty fan­tas­tic just now, but like an orgasm, it was great and then it died off.

We just fucked, but in actu­al fact I need­ed some­one to talk to, some­one where I could relate.

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Happy Birthday, 2010

For as far as I remem­bered, The Boy and I have not been con­tact­ing each oth­er for at least a year. The [last time](http://www.cedricang.com/?p=711) that I have actu­al­ly con­tact­ed him was actu­al­ly a one sided sms mes­sage to him wish­ing him a hap­py birth­day.

It is iron­ic so to speak, to have two ex boy friends that shares the same birth date. At least one of the con­so­la­tion that I have that anoth­er ex is younger than the oth­er.

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Remembering The Boy

I could not put myself togeth­er to clean up the bulk of things that I kept in the store.

It was the mem­o­ries; mem­o­ries of you in my heart for that short peri­od of time that we were togeth­er.

Remem­ber the time when I went over to your place, and then we start­ed send­ing text mes­sages to each oth­er express­ing our inter­est? Remem­ber the time when you sneak out from school to come see me because you said you miss see­ing me?

It was nev­er easy let­ting you go; I have learn that some­times it is always best to let things go in order for us to con­tin­ue mov­ing for­ward.

Look­ing back at the things that was in the store made me think­ing. What was it that made us togeth­er despite our dif­fer­ences.

I can’t find a rea­son.

It’s time now, to let it all go.

Maybe you still have a small spot in my heart, but for now, I think I still have space to store things up under my bed.

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