Cedric Ang

While watching the Internet race itself past me, I could not help but to notice a torrent of cries and spurs about BHPetrol back home.

It was first a glimpse of a freak accident. It then turned out to be something inhumane, if you will. The story of two petrol kiosk attendant refusing to loan a fire extinguisher that could have save a young lady’s life.

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You thought I disappeared, didn’t you?

Well, almost.

I am not going to lie to you; When I had the feel to write something, I was either busy with something else, or just too lazy to get up to wherever that I use to blog, to write something.

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This post is published without proof reading. If you are looking for a perfect written post, you have come to the wrong page

I guess many had already know that I maintain a few Facebook account.

On the recent event on Facebook, I had encountered something that had kept me awake, and not sure what to do.

It was midnight yesterday that I received a friend request. It wasn’t a friend request on Facebook that I would normally ignore, because this time, it was from a person that I know from another account; A person that I had had great interest with, before he mysteriously disappeared from my life.

I sent him a message, pretending that I do not know him. Which is the right thing to do, I think. Even prior to that, I had thought of just ignoring the friend request, and move on. I spent the whole day thinking about it, and could not reach a decision. I messaged him.

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Is this the New Year or just another night?
Is this the new fear or just another fright?
Is this the new tear or just another desperation?

Is this the finger or just another fist?
Is this the kingdom or just a hit n’ miss?
I miss direction most in all this desperation

Is this what they call freedom?
Is this what you call pain?
Is this what they call discontented fame?

It’ll be a day like this one
When the world caves in, when the world caves in

I’m singing this one like a broken piece of glass
From broken hearts and broken noses in the back
Is this the New Year or just another desperation?

You push until you’re shoving
You bend until you break
Do you stand on the broken fields where our fathers lay?

It’ll be a day like this one
When the world caves in, when the world caves in

Is nothing here worth saving?
Is no one here at all?
Is there any net left that could break our fall?

It’ll be a day like this one
When the sky falls down and the hungry
And poor and deserted are found

Are you discontented?
Have you been pushing hard?
Have you been throwing down this broken house of cards?

Is there nothing left now? Nothing left to sing
Are there any left who haven’t kissed the enemy?
Is this the New Year or just another desperation?

Yeah, does justice never find you?
Do the wicked never lose?
Is there any honest song to sing besides these blues?

And nothing is okay
Till the world caves in, until the world caves in.

I know I normally do not post videos, but there is always the first time in doing anything.

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It rained again.

Again, it is always the rain that would put me into deep thoughts.

It feels like the rain might have some super power over me I don’t know.

I was having a conversation with David, when he told me that he already got a boy friend now. I should have thought better.

Reading Apollo David’s post on being kind, I felt the same situation is bestow upon me.

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I could not sleep this morning until 4 am. The bright moon light from the New York’s cityscape peeking through my window on my face.

I tried very hard to fall asleep.

The thought of us together got me awake. Ever since you found yourself in someone else’s arms, I have been thinking about you day and night.

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Yesterday was a hectic day for me.

I received a rather urgent phone call, asking me to head over downtown. I head over to the place, only to be surprised with the sequence of event that was going to happen.

Guess where am I ?

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Well, I too not too sure what is going on with myself lately.

To think about the boy, makes me cry.

To think about home, makes me lonely.

To think about going out and take some pictures, my camera is at the bottom of a crocodile infested river in Chiang Mai.

To think about having sex with a stranger in Central Park, then I am scared of this.

So how?

I tried so hard, I really did.

It was a prank that I have pulled that went seriously wrong.

At first, I thought I wanted to see his reaction on how he would see things. Now, I guess I have to change my point of view to a whole new perspective.

I could not sleep last night. Penning my last entry I was already exhausted, perhaps with what has been going on for the past few months, perhaps with what has been going on lately. I tried to slot in hints on my Facebook, hints that I wasn’t ready for a long distance relationship. I am a ‘closeted’ person. Closeted not that I am not out, but a rather, I prefer to be close to someone, the be able to hug the person, to kiss the person, and in return to be loved.

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