Cedric Ang

When I am nervous, I tend to write a lot. Trying to get things off my head as far back as possible. When I think too much, I get excited, anxious and depression then starts to kick in. It is not good for both myself, and the people that is surrounding me; especially Lester.

If you haven notice, I have been starting to call L Lester in the blog. I think it is a good thing since Lester had already acknowledge it. I mean, there are a dozen of people with the name Lester anyways, gay or not *smile*.

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Life is just full of speed bumps and potholes.

Just when you thought everything would be okay, you set out your plans to embrace what is good to come, you then find out that in order to get a work permit in Singapore requires you to have a medical checkup. Which means, a HIV test.

If you have followed my blog early enough, you would have read that I was contemplating into doing the test because I was scared and worried. I wasn’t scared of the process, but more to anxious about the results.

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As much as I would like things to work out together between us, things are just not the way that we always want them to be.

I am worried that things might not work out between us, not the relationship part, but rather the whole ‘staying in Singapore’ part. Perhaps in L’s mind, I am making this decision because I wanted to be with him. Well, partially because I really wanted to be with him. Another part of me just wanted to leave Malaysia for good, or the longest possible time, if possible.

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It was a Wednesday morning. We had planned this for almost a week already; to go to Singapore Tourism Board to find out all the information that we need, both for studies and working in Singapore.

Of course, I have been hoping for this outing since a week ago when a friend helped me to convince L of the meet up. I know that it was something awkward for L because he has been avoiding me for quite some time.

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